you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
