i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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