How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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