it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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