just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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