Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
