So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
