Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
