Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so let's talk penis.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I didn't notice because vodka
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
