Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
