Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
