So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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