it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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