You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
