Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
