So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Less talking, more tequila
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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