i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
