All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
