He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
not ubering you a puppy
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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