My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
