I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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