What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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