im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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