Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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