Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize