Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
