I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
