you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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