Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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