I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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