I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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