that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize