She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
vagina is talking i cant
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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