I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
