bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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