I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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