Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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