Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
