Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize