think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
