i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
