you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
