I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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