A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i believe in u and ur pee
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
