make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
