hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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