That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
