He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
