I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
