So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
