just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
