its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
