Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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