no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
