Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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