kristin has been a bad kristin
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
