Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
