i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
