i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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