You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
