i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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