I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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