Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
